Reflections and Responses

I passed our infant carseat on to someone else last week. I did the same thing with my maternity clothes. If those seems like drastic steps for someone who up until fairly recently said she wanted to be pregnant, it's because they are. They seemed that way to me too. Even though I was confident I was supposed to pass these items to these particular expectant moms, I still felt a lump in my throat as I drove away without the carseat. If you've followed along with our journey at all, you know that as much as John adores Olivia, he never felt a strong pull to have a second child. I always wanted another and assumed that we would. It wasn't even a question in my mind. We continued to disagree on this (rather substantial) decision for quite a while, so we decided that we'd spend the year 2016 praying intentionally and specifically about this issue, asking God to bring unity. I realize how funny this it is now. God is not a Magic 8 ball who provides answers at

I was thinking this morning about plants. I've never been successful at sustaining plants, and the reason why is pretty embarrassing. I rarely read the directions. In fact, sometimes I rip off the little piece of cardboard with the directions on it because it interferes with the aesthetic of the plant. This realization became an instant parallel with how I live. Too often I treat God's Word like I treat the instructions for plants, naively coasting through without reminding myself of what I can do in order to thrive. Like the plant distributors, my Father has provided everything I need (wisdom, encouragement, comfort, hope) in writing for me to dwell on as often as possible. What a generous gift. Yet, I tend to act as if these words are optional. The parallels continue. Like taking care of plants, we have to be proactive in nurturing our souls. If we wait to water or relocate a plant until there are signs of decay, there's a good chance that some permanent damage has

1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to give thanks in everything. I've been struck by this verse recently, and I've been unpacking every word. "In" The Word says to give thanks "IN" it...not once we're on the other side of a messy situation and can see God's sweet purposes in it. In the moments when we are feeling hurt, anxious, confused or impatient... give thanks to God during these moments. The result of this is that we invite His calming presence into our minds. Choosing to connect with Him in the tough moments is the very best thing we can do, because He can provide help, wisdom, comfort, empathy, or whatever we need in that moment. Ephesians 3:20 reminds us that He can do "exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think." Applied here, that means we should never underestimate what He can do when we choose maintain a pliable, grateful heart no matter what is swirling around us. "Everything" Anyone can feel content and gra

While I was doodling with Olivia last night, I had a thought. The voice in my head tells me: "Jesus loves me when I am _____." (Fill in the blank with lofty adjectives and idealistic descriptors like "perfect," "a selfless wife," "in Olympic shape.") But His voice gently corrects me and says: "Jesus loves me when I am." There's a period there, not a colon or a blank space. He loves me simply because I exist. He's loved me since the moment I was an idea in His head. That means He has loved me before I even had the opportunity to achieve, attain or perform. He loves me simply because I am . We spend so much energy trying to earn love and approval and be worthy of it.... but the One whose opinion matters most labeled us as "loved" before we took our first breaths. We can take off the pressure, the facades, the pull-ourselves-up-by-our-bootstraps mentality.... we're loved. Amen? Amen. P.S. I really love t

Dear Hardworking Husband, Thank you for the sacrifices you make. Thank you for working many more than 40 hours each week so that I can be home and be present with our daughter.  Thanks for taking sandwiches for lunch instead of going out with the guys, rarely buying new dress clothes, and not indulging your desire for Dunkin coffee. Thanks for partnering with me. You have every right to sprawl out on the couch when you get home, but you often choose to play, work in the yard, fix something or all of the above. Thanks for not only being a hands-on dad and an employee, but also a plumber, electrician, lawn care expert, car mechanic, and so much more. Thank you for being patient with me. Thanks for letting me vent and complain, even when it's about you! Thanks for giving me breaks when you sense I need them. Thanks for acknowledging the seriousness of my job and never making me feel "less than." Thanks for actively listening to me share the details of our day, wh

I wanted to share some thrilling news with you: Olivia does not need surgery after all!!!!!! To make a very long story short, today we learned that some of her initial measurements were handled incorrectly, so her heart is not nearly as enlarged as it seemed! The hole is not putting the amount of distress on her heart as it looked like originally when the team used the faulty numbers. She may need to have the hole closed o ne day, but for now, she's looking great! Obviously this misstep, along with several slips the cardiologists made throughout the past few weeks, are being taken very seriously by those in leadership at the heart center. They understand that much trauma resulted for us from this error. This is such astonishing news - we had asked God to avoid surgery if there was ANY way we could do safely, and look at what He did! I may write more later once I collect Thank you again for all of your love and concern - we have an incredible village