I struggle with mental illness. Like many others, I can't really define myself as falling cleanly into one category or give myself a specific diagnosis. Mine has manifested in different ways during different seasons of my life: sometimes it's anxiety, but other times it's depression, disordered eating, obsessive compulsion or a cocktail of these. Regardless, it's there, and while I experience a lot of happiness in my life, there's also some inner turmoil that I fight to keep at bay.
Why am I telling you this? It's certainly not for pity or to draw attention to myself. I'm guessing that many people reading this also struggle, but others may not. For both parties, I want to take a stab at normalizing mental illness and I also want to point out a few things I've found to be true:
- Mental illness is not limited to a certain stereotype. Depression doesn't just affect teenagers who prefer dark clothes and hooded jackets! It's not just the poor, just the rich, or just the "insert given stereotype." People across all demographics deal with this stuff. It's just not normally talked about, so you don't know who deals with it and who does not. Just because it's not discussed doesn't mean it's not there!
- Mental illness is not circumstantial. On paper, my life is great! Life looks really good on the outside, but on the inside, I'm in a depressed season. It's not logical based on my circumstances - happy family, new home, etc. This is hard for outsiders to understand. People with good intentions might suggest just "cheering up" or "looking on the bright side," but that's not how it works. It's an illness that often requires medication and therapy, not a conditions-based, optional way of thinking.
- There's more happening in people's lives than what they post on social media. Let's remember when we look at anyone's feed that 1) comparison is the thief of joy, and 2) we are not seeing the full picture. Never jump to conclusions or assume that anyone has it all together. Everyone has his or her own "backpack of burdens," as a friend of mine stated recently. Maybe yours is not mental illness, but there's something there that you aren't posting. We all have weaknesses. Since none of us are perfect, let's offer grace and stop being intimidated by or jealous of one another!
(This has probably been a depressing post so far, but I promise I am ending positively, so stick with me...)
- Here is the best news of all. God can use ALL THINGS, even ugly things like mental illness, for His glory. I'm loving the First 5 App developed by Proverbs 31 ministry. The devotion on the app today talked about Joseph and how God used his brothers' jealously and horrible act of selling him into slavery to get Joseph where he needed to be (Egypt) to fulfill God's plan for him. The Bible is filled with story after story after story of God redeeming awful things for His glory (read: the crucifixion!!!). Surely He can use the ugliness of mental illness somehow for His greater good, too.
By disclosing this, I hope that I've helped you see that mental illness doesn't have to be some scary mysterious thing that creates pity or shame and only affects loners. I'm determined that God has great plans for me not just despite my illness but because of my illness! The same is true for you and whatever is in your backpack. In our weakness, He is made strong.
Why am I telling you this? It's certainly not for pity or to draw attention to myself. I'm guessing that many people reading this also struggle, but others may not. For both parties, I want to take a stab at normalizing mental illness and I also want to point out a few things I've found to be true:
- Mental illness is not limited to a certain stereotype. Depression doesn't just affect teenagers who prefer dark clothes and hooded jackets! It's not just the poor, just the rich, or just the "insert given stereotype." People across all demographics deal with this stuff. It's just not normally talked about, so you don't know who deals with it and who does not. Just because it's not discussed doesn't mean it's not there!
- Mental illness is not circumstantial. On paper, my life is great! Life looks really good on the outside, but on the inside, I'm in a depressed season. It's not logical based on my circumstances - happy family, new home, etc. This is hard for outsiders to understand. People with good intentions might suggest just "cheering up" or "looking on the bright side," but that's not how it works. It's an illness that often requires medication and therapy, not a conditions-based, optional way of thinking.
- There's more happening in people's lives than what they post on social media. Let's remember when we look at anyone's feed that 1) comparison is the thief of joy, and 2) we are not seeing the full picture. Never jump to conclusions or assume that anyone has it all together. Everyone has his or her own "backpack of burdens," as a friend of mine stated recently. Maybe yours is not mental illness, but there's something there that you aren't posting. We all have weaknesses. Since none of us are perfect, let's offer grace and stop being intimidated by or jealous of one another!
(This has probably been a depressing post so far, but I promise I am ending positively, so stick with me...)
- Here is the best news of all. God can use ALL THINGS, even ugly things like mental illness, for His glory. I'm loving the First 5 App developed by Proverbs 31 ministry. The devotion on the app today talked about Joseph and how God used his brothers' jealously and horrible act of selling him into slavery to get Joseph where he needed to be (Egypt) to fulfill God's plan for him. The Bible is filled with story after story after story of God redeeming awful things for His glory (read: the crucifixion!!!). Surely He can use the ugliness of mental illness somehow for His greater good, too.
By disclosing this, I hope that I've helped you see that mental illness doesn't have to be some scary mysterious thing that creates pity or shame and only affects loners. I'm determined that God has great plans for me not just despite my illness but because of my illness! The same is true for you and whatever is in your backpack. In our weakness, He is made strong.
Your writing, insight, and candor always impress me. You're one of the most positive people that I know, and I had no idea about your issues. But I really should not be surprised- everyone struggles. It is part of our imperfection. Our humanity. (I love the "backpack of burdens"!)
ReplyDeletegood job,Leigh . . . . He IS able to use our individual oddities for His glory. To redeem and comfort, to enable strength in weakness. So thankful to be His forever....
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYes, Leigh, Christian counseling is good for everyone, because most people honestly struggle with many issues. Welcome to humanity. We all need absolute truth and God's grace through Christ Jesus our Savior and Lord. We all need wise leadership in every situation, and also need to acknowledge who is in control...God always is, whether our situations are just and pleasant or unjust and unpleasant.
DeleteHaving never have been a marriage partner nor a parent, I am grateful you have become both! I am grateful you seek Christ first, your relationship with God, and then your relationship with John and your daughter.
Yes, situations can be just and unpleasant, or pleasing yet unjust...or any combination.
DeleteYet we need to cast all our anxieties on HIM, because HE cares for us!