Reflections and Responses

It's amazing to think at how different life is for John and I this Christmas compared to last Christmas. Christmas can be a time of nostalgia and reflection as one year comes to a close and minds begin to spin, dreaming and plotting out courses and goals for 2011. A few things that are different for the Harpers at Christmas 2010 compared to 2009: - We live in Atlanta versus Cumming. - We are involved in Passion City Church. - Our family has expanded (hey, we got a cat, that counts!) - We both work at different places than we did last year. - We are busily preparing for Passion 2011 this year, where we will be as soon as Christmas has passed. - John's family is joining mine for one big Christmas lunch this year, which is a blessing. - Our families have both experienced various job and life changes. - John joined a hunting club and bought an old truck that allowed him to spend many happy mornings in the woods doing what he loves. - We were affected by wonderful memories we made i

I kind of feel like I have been living the last few weeks on autopilot. Do you ever feel this way? My days have been so full that I'm just going through the motions, sliding (more like racing) from one activity to the next, but not fully present anywhere that I am. I almost feel like I have started a mental countdown in my head for everything that I do (ex: Christmas and Passion 2011), and I'm watching time as it passes by rapidly instead of BEING in and seizing every moment. I'm enjoying moments, but I'm letting them happen to me instead of approaching life proactively. Living this way has a numbing effect, making me not fully aware of everything around me. I'm just existing and floating from one moment to the next without really synthesizing anything mentally. I don't like to live this way. I wonder if it is a defensive mechanism I have put up in order to avoid being overwhelmed by the many things that are happening around and to me. I told a friend the other