Playing in the Mud

Mild days have been a rarity around here lately, so as soon as we see that glorious sun appear and the temperature isn't too frigid, my little family heads to our backyard. My husband likes to tinker with his Big Green Egg or mess in the yard, and Olivia and I camp out on a large blanket with some toys.

This set-up worked well a couple of months ago when she was younger and less aware of her surroundings. She would focus attentively on whatever colorful toy I placed in front of her, regardless of how many times she had seen it, and be amused for a substantial amount of time. It was a win-win: mommy got some vitamin D and a change of scenery, and baby was entertained.

Lately, however, I haven't been as lucky. Now that she is more mobile and able to engage with her environment better, our blanket time outside is more exhausting for me as I try to contain her, and it's also become more messy. Yesterday, for example, Olivia ignored the load of toys I'd carted outside and was more fascinated with the leaves and grass just beyond the blanket instead.

She picked up individual an individual leaf, examined it closely, shook it, put it on her head, placed it on my head, babbled to it, threw it, and then went hunting for the next one. I tried to lay on the edge of the blanket to create a barrier between her and the leaves while distracting her with a toy, but she was too smart for that. She leaned over me, still grasping for the fallen foliage with her tiny hands.

I finally gave up and decided this was a battle that wasn't quite worth fighting. No harm could really be done with a few leaves as long as they were dry and free of insects, and I could brush off the blanket. I selected a handful of leaves that fit this criteria and put them in front of her.

Olivia was delighted with my compliance and began her little process of examining each one, but she grew bored quickly with what I had provided and soon was back at the edge of the blanket, fishing for more. She ignored my handfuls of pre-selected, mud-free leaves altogether and just kept digging in the yard around the blanket. She seemed to have a knack for finding the wet clumps of leaves and was dragging fistfuls of dirt onto the blanket with each leaf, straining our blanket and dirtying her own clothes in the process. Like a sinking boat takes on water, our blanket was slowly taking on more leaves (and dirt), defeating its purpose of providing a clean play surface. 

This made me think about myself and how I respond to - and often ignore - the goodness God places right in front of me, choosing instead to grasp for things just outside of his bounty. God has put dry leaves before me - providing for literally all of my needs and most of my desires - yet sometimes that isn't enough to satisfy my sinful self. How many times has God given me clear boundaries, and yet I have opted to scoot around them to search for something I desired more or found more enticing?

Similarly, He has given me an incredible tool - His Word - and direct access to communicate with him through prayer. How many times have I ignored those perfectly dry leaves and opted instead to squander that time in the mud of my social media feeds or a dumb TV show for too long? I often reap the consequence of this decision to play in the mud instead of engaging with dry leaves by snapping at my husband because I am tired and have nothing to offer, creating a stain.

Olivia is just an infant and honestly could not understand that she was making a mess by reaching beyond me and choosing the wet leaves, creating a trail of dirt and stains in the process. She did so in innocence. However, when I disobey God and choose to go outside of His provision and the instruction He has laid before me, I do so fully aware that my choice will create a mess and stains in the form of consequences.

I love that the Holy Spirit teaches and convicts me through my daughter. Praying that I will bask in God's provision and his dry leaves today, taking advantage of what He has provided and doing so with a grateful heart.