It took longer than usual for me to fall asleep last night. I don't know what exactly kept me awake - the buzz of the Braves game John was watching in the living room, or me dreading my exercise class in the morning, or what - but my mind began wandering.
I was reminded of a stage I went through in the fourth grade. I would wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to fall asleep every single night for what seemed like months. Every time this happened, I would creep across the hall and stand at the foot of my parents' bed and announce that I couldn't sleep. Eventually, my parents set up all kinds of activities near my bed to help me get back to sleep. I remember reading "chapter books" and listening to Seal's "Kissed by a Rose" on my boxy black CD player in the middle of the night, hoping that these soothing activities would do the trick. Usually they did.
Eventually my parents confronted me gently and said that I really didn't need to come to their room and announce my sleeplessness each time it happened. I could simply begin engaging in the activities they suggested without telling them. I remember feeling shocked when they told me this, because I thought that informing my parents was critical to solving the problem. I was at the age when I was absolutely confident that my parents could fix any problem in the world and that they had all of the answers. I didn't think the reading and music would help unless I told them I couldn't sleep and they reminded me to go read.
Fast forward many years - today, I long to have that pure, utter confidence and reliance on communicating with someone greater than me to solve problems. I understood the importance of reaching out to seek help and truly believing in the wisdom of someone greater at age 9, but somehow in later years I lost it and began trusting in my own limited knowledge way too much. God has infinite knowledge and longs for me to communicate my fears, questions and concerns to Him first - before turning to my own logic or others' advice. I pray that we will all reconnect with that childlike "need" to look up for help FIRST and trust fully in His ability to handle our troubles.
I was reminded of a stage I went through in the fourth grade. I would wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to fall asleep every single night for what seemed like months. Every time this happened, I would creep across the hall and stand at the foot of my parents' bed and announce that I couldn't sleep. Eventually, my parents set up all kinds of activities near my bed to help me get back to sleep. I remember reading "chapter books" and listening to Seal's "Kissed by a Rose" on my boxy black CD player in the middle of the night, hoping that these soothing activities would do the trick. Usually they did.
Eventually my parents confronted me gently and said that I really didn't need to come to their room and announce my sleeplessness each time it happened. I could simply begin engaging in the activities they suggested without telling them. I remember feeling shocked when they told me this, because I thought that informing my parents was critical to solving the problem. I was at the age when I was absolutely confident that my parents could fix any problem in the world and that they had all of the answers. I didn't think the reading and music would help unless I told them I couldn't sleep and they reminded me to go read.
Fast forward many years - today, I long to have that pure, utter confidence and reliance on communicating with someone greater than me to solve problems. I understood the importance of reaching out to seek help and truly believing in the wisdom of someone greater at age 9, but somehow in later years I lost it and began trusting in my own limited knowledge way too much. God has infinite knowledge and longs for me to communicate my fears, questions and concerns to Him first - before turning to my own logic or others' advice. I pray that we will all reconnect with that childlike "need" to look up for help FIRST and trust fully in His ability to handle our troubles.
Leigh, Wow, I barely remember those days, although I do remember being woken up a few nights. I'm glad mom knew what to do with the stuff she set up for you. As you Dad, please know the message for me was also that "we" couldn't fix things, but only He can. So glad we both have a heavenly Father to depend upon who never fails us. Love you Kiddo - Your Earthly (sometimes too much so) Dad.
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