Reflections and Responses

My little girl is expected to make her entrance in 6 weeks. People keep asking me, "Are you ready?" My answer is complicated. My heart screams YES, I'm so ready ! But my inner perfectionist and critic screams NO, not hardly! Let me explain. Yes, I am ready to look at my daughter's face for the very first time. I'm ready to touch her soft cheek with my finger, read books to her, ingest her sweet smell, hear her happy gurgles, and experience her developing and learning new things. I'm ready to watch people I love meet her for the first time. Yes, I'm absolutely ready for those blissful moments. No, I am not ready to be faced with a million new things to figure out. I'm not ready to attempt mastering a schedule and deciphering the needs of a little person who cannot communicate beyond crying. I'm not ready to take on a new role that could possibly make me feel inadequate - an area of potential insecurity. I'm not ready to feel like I d...

This morning I woke up to a full trashcan, and I got mad . You're probably thinking, "Um, okay, Leigh. Little sensitive? Pregnancy hormones gettin' to ya?" Let me explain. I've been blessed with an extremely easy pregnancy so far. I thank God for that. Only in the past month or so have a few tasks like bending over become more difficult to me due to my, ahem, expanded midsection. I have not really liked feeling inadequate, even though it's temporary and for an amazing reason. (Hello, pride!) Recently, I reluctantly asked my husband if he could help be aware of the trashcan in the kitchen and take it out once it gets full, because this chore was becoming difficult for me. Of course he agreed. When I groggily stumbled into the kitchen this morning after John had left for work and found a full trashcan, I got mad. And I mean mad . As I cooked my eggs, I started reeling. I even got physically hot. My mind began racing with bitter thoughts like: "We ...

I've had several enlightening conversations with people this week in response to my last post about my story. Thanks so much to each of you who approached me - I've been encouraged to hear how God spoke to you. I want to share what God has taught me through these conversations: 1. We all have a story . God has done something in your life and shown up somewhere, even if it's taken you years to realize it. Yours may not be anything like mine, but you have a story - and it's a really beautiful one. 2. God can't use your story if you don't share it. I don't recommend blabbing your story the first time you meet someone, but I absolutely encourage you to be obedient when you feel prompted to share it. Even though it feels vulnerable, so much good can come from sharing what God has done when He tells you it's time! 3. Your story is not just for you. God wants to teach the people around you through your story, both in the moment while it is happening...

Olivia Kate Harper will be a miracle. All babies are miracles. But let me tell you about our miracle. I married John after dating him for almost 7 years. We began dating when I was 15 and he was 16, and we never broke up. This alone is a miracle, but that's a (wonderful) story for another time! We came from incredible families with parents who raised us to love Jesus, so we always knew from the beginning of our relationship that we would wait to have sex until we were married. We were tempted plenty of times in our 7 years and had ample opportunity to be intimate in that way, but God helped us wait. We knew it would be worth it. I don't have words to describe the joy and expectation we felt on June 6, 2009 when we finally entered a hotel room together for the first time as husband and wife. I will never forget how special I felt and the excitement I had about finally being able to give all of myself to my best friend and experience all of him in the purest and holiest of...

My husband challenged me recently by mentioning the idea of having a steady faith. I'm defining this as a consistent, unswerving trust and resulting actions that reflect my belief that God will do what He says. Some of the phrases Merriam-Webster uses to defines "steady" are: - showing little variation or fluctuation - not easily disturbed or upset - constant in feeling, principle, purpose or attachment - not given to dissipation The synonyms listed are unfaltering, fixed, stable, uniform, dependable, and sober. Evaluating myself, I'd say that my beliefs are consistent - I don't waver in my theology. But, can I say that my faith is steady? Do I live like I trust in God equally in valleys and on mountains, or just think it? To be honest, I tend to coast when things are going well, defaulting into autopilot and not really living like I depend on Him for every breath. In contrast, when I'm waiting for an answer or struggling with something, I tend t...

I've struggled with body image for an undefinable amount of time. My weight has fluctuated my entire life, and once I became old enough to realize it, it became an unfortunate obsession. As I matured and opened up about this to my peers in college, I found that I was not alone. Maintaining an unhealthy relationship with food is what my husband now refers to as the "acceptable" sin among Christian women. It's the most common struggle among my female friends. Or, it's the most common one they admit to, at least. This destructive sin rears its ugly head in many ways, manifesting differently in different women. Some women develop actual eating disorders, others binge and purge, others develop a more generalized obsession with appearance and self loathing, and still others fall elsewhere in this nasty spectrum. I've been thinking a lot about this sin specifically lately, which led me to think about how the enemy confuses us about the very definition of sin. L...

Confession: I don't like autumn. I know, I know. You're thinking: WHAT?! It's the season of football, all things apple, and pretty leaves! Are you not American?! Yes, I'm American, and yes, I know I'm in the minority on this one. Alright, so here's the root of the confession: I don't like change. I like comfort, and fall means the comfort and ease of summer is passing. Summer equals relaxation and simple pleasures to me. It's the season of warmth, beaches, flip-flops, vacations, sunshine until 9pm, and frozen yogurt. (Well, okay, while I'm confessing - the frozen yogurt part is really year-round for me!)  Fall signals the end of this peaceful season and the disruption of the laid back summer mindset that encompasses us all. Fall means gearing up and getting busy. Here's a thought: Jesus probably didn't like his comfort to be disrupted either. However; thankfully, he recognized that going with change instead of fighting against it was ...

It's the time of year when my Facebook feed is populated with lists of what my friends are thankful for. At the beginning of the month, most of the daily posts include the "heavy hitters" in the gratitude department: Jesus, spouses, jobs... I wonder what these individuals will be posting 25 days from now after exhausting their lists of the traditional things they're grateful for but still needing to post on the subject for a few more days! Don't get me wrong - we have so many things to be grateful for that 28 days doesn't even begin to cover half of them. I'm simply saying that I look forward to reading the unique things my friends are grateful for as the month winds down and they've already listed the more obvious choices. I wanted to post a little list of my own that only contains these nontraditional things. Of course I am very grateful for Jesus, my perfect-for-me partner, and the many other obvious blessings God has given me.... but here are...

DOT crews have begun the lengthy process of taking down the toll plaza on GA 400, a spot in the road I whiz through nearly every day of my life. Removing the toll shouldn't affect my commute time much, but it will save me about a dollar a day. I have what's commonly referred to as a cruise card. The cruise card is a rectangular white decal on my front windshield with a sensor that automatically draws money from my bank account so that I don't have to stop and manually pay the toll each time I drive on the road. This little gem allows me to fly through the far left lanes of the toll plaza while non-card holders inch through the right lanes, waiting in line to drop 50 cents each time they access it. When I drive through the toll plaza, I always glance to my left. Every. Single. Time. At my left is a device that looks like a traffic light, with a green light at the top, yellow in the middle, and red at the bottom. A green light flashes each time a driver with a cruise card...