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Am I Ready?

My little girl is expected to make her entrance in 6 weeks.

People keep asking me, "Are you ready?"

My answer is complicated. My heart screams YES, I'm so ready! But my inner perfectionist and critic screams NO, not hardly! Let me explain.

Yes, I am ready to look at my daughter's face for the very first time. I'm ready to touch her soft cheek with my finger, read books to her, ingest her sweet smell, hear her happy gurgles, and experience her developing and learning new things. I'm ready to watch people I love meet her for the first time. Yes, I'm absolutely ready for those blissful moments.

No, I am not ready to be faced with a million new things to figure out. I'm not ready to attempt mastering a schedule and deciphering the needs of a little person who cannot communicate beyond crying. I'm not ready to take on a new role that could possibly make me feel inadequate - an area of potential insecurity. I'm not ready to feel like I don't measure up to other moms in how well I parent, how cute my child's face/room/clothes/behavior is, how quickly I will (or won't!) get back into shape, how rested I do (or don't!) look, how well my child sleeps/eats/develops/engages with other kids. I'm exhausted just thinking of all of expectations I'm taking on as a mom and all of the pitfalls where I could feel incompetent. No, I'm not ready for that weight.

I reconcile this by asking myself the question my respected friend Shannon Scott often asks herself: What is right thinking in this situation? Right meaning Biblical, truthful thinking that's based in reality and not emotion. My response to that question applied to becoming a mom:

1. Philippians 4:13. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I can be a mom. God is making me one, so He will surely help me! I can be confident of that.

2. Romans 8:28. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." I will make some mistakes as a mom, and it will be challenging. But, I can be confident that the mess-ups and difficulties are for my good - for my refinement, humility, or to help me be a better parent.

3. Romans 12:2. "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will." I need to stay focused on what God is asking of me and not compare myself with what I see others do around me. This will be a discipline, but one that's very worth the energy I'll need to invest in it.
 
4. Isaiah 41:10. "So do not fear,  for I am with you; do not be dismayed,  for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." I'm not attempting this alone. The Maker of the Universe is with me and has promised to sustain me. What more could I need?

After pausing a moment to think through the "right thinking" response to the question, I can say with confidence: Yes. I'm ready for her when she's ready to be here (which is hopefully still several weeks away - I want her to continue developing.).

I can do this. I will do this. He is with me.

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