I read an article about couple dating recently, and it intrigued me. Couple dating (spending time with another couple/double dating with the same couple regularly) is something John and I find really fun. We are blessed to know some wonderful couples, many of whom we wish we were able to “date” more frequently (#1 below is our biggest inhibitor with those couples!). The article prompted me to think about the factors that either deter couples from being compatible or make them a great match. A few factors came to mind:
1. Location/schedule/logistics: John and I have several pairs of great couple friends from college or the past who are great matches for us but now live far away. Similarly, when John worked in the evenings, it was hard for us to maintain good relationships with some of our couple friends because our free time occurred at different hours.
2. Financial status and spending habits: If one couple prefers not to spend much money on entertainment and the other lives to spend, it’s unlikely that the match will be successful.
3. Family state: Married or not married, Children or no children, age/stage of life, and students versus people in the working world – all of these are factors that determine how much couples will have in common, their scheduling compatibility, likely conversation topics and interests.
4. Interests and lifestyle habits: Pure and simple: if couples can’t identify activities that all four people enjoy, the relationship will only last for a couple of “dates.” Similarly, it is helpful if both couples maintain similar lifestyles (values, schedules, general goals, homebodies versus non-homebodies, etc.)
5. Four-way compatibility: For a couple match to be ultimately successful, all four people must enjoy each other. It’s natural that two of the four people may know each other better (maybe the two guys work together, the two girls grew up together, etc.), but all four people must genuinely LIKE spending time together for the couple set-up to be successful.
6. How frequently the couples interact: For couples to be in a “serious relationship” with one another, they need to either be able to spend a significant amount of time together on a regular basis, or else they were able to do so in the past and now consider each other lifelong friends.
Of course, there are exceptions to all of these general statements – John and I have great couple friends who are dissimilar from us in almost all of these categories. However, these factors tend to affect couples’ compatibility in general.
It’s interesting how couples can move in and out of “love” with one another too as one couple in the pair changes in one of these categories. Scenarios that alter factors 1 -6 and potentially have significant effects on the couple relationship could include one couple having a baby, one couple moving, one person going back to school, someone losing a job and cutting the couple’s income in half…this list could go on and on. Just as relationships between individuals evolve, couple relationships will inevitably change with time and circumstances.
As I said, John and I enjoy spending time with other couples, and we are very thankful for and value the couples with whom we are in relationship. Just wanted to share some food for thought – happy couple dating!
1. Location/schedule/logistics: John and I have several pairs of great couple friends from college or the past who are great matches for us but now live far away. Similarly, when John worked in the evenings, it was hard for us to maintain good relationships with some of our couple friends because our free time occurred at different hours.
2. Financial status and spending habits: If one couple prefers not to spend much money on entertainment and the other lives to spend, it’s unlikely that the match will be successful.
3. Family state: Married or not married, Children or no children, age/stage of life, and students versus people in the working world – all of these are factors that determine how much couples will have in common, their scheduling compatibility, likely conversation topics and interests.
4. Interests and lifestyle habits: Pure and simple: if couples can’t identify activities that all four people enjoy, the relationship will only last for a couple of “dates.” Similarly, it is helpful if both couples maintain similar lifestyles (values, schedules, general goals, homebodies versus non-homebodies, etc.)
5. Four-way compatibility: For a couple match to be ultimately successful, all four people must enjoy each other. It’s natural that two of the four people may know each other better (maybe the two guys work together, the two girls grew up together, etc.), but all four people must genuinely LIKE spending time together for the couple set-up to be successful.
6. How frequently the couples interact: For couples to be in a “serious relationship” with one another, they need to either be able to spend a significant amount of time together on a regular basis, or else they were able to do so in the past and now consider each other lifelong friends.
Of course, there are exceptions to all of these general statements – John and I have great couple friends who are dissimilar from us in almost all of these categories. However, these factors tend to affect couples’ compatibility in general.
It’s interesting how couples can move in and out of “love” with one another too as one couple in the pair changes in one of these categories. Scenarios that alter factors 1 -6 and potentially have significant effects on the couple relationship could include one couple having a baby, one couple moving, one person going back to school, someone losing a job and cutting the couple’s income in half…this list could go on and on. Just as relationships between individuals evolve, couple relationships will inevitably change with time and circumstances.
As I said, John and I enjoy spending time with other couples, and we are very thankful for and value the couples with whom we are in relationship. Just wanted to share some food for thought – happy couple dating!
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