"Let there be Light."

God has been using the concept of light to teach me lately. Allow me to elaborate.

John was out of town for several days last week, and I returned home to our apartment after dark each night because I had made dates with friends after work. Being alone in the darkness of my own apartment suddenly made normal things I encounter every day seem scary to me.

I laid in bed the first night he was gone and became convinced that someone else was in our apartment; in reality, I was just hearing pipes make noise as the dishwasher ran its cycle. I hear those noises every time the dishwasher is turned on, but something about hearing them alone in the darkness made me paranoid. The next night, my neighbor’s family of cats squealed and ran across the parking lot when I got home, which really spooked me when I got out of my car. Thankfully, I had left lights on inside of our apartment, and my fears subsided as soon as I opened the door and could see everything clearly.

In both of these situations, being alone in the darkness made silly things that I encounter all of the time seem scary to me.

Another recent experience prompted me to think about light in a different sense. A couple of weeks ago, John and I were discussing a serious topic (about which I had some deep, passionate opinions) at the home of some relatives. I was not being open about my true feelings, though, and the weight of withholding what I was feeling began to affect me as I listened to everyone else talk. All of the sudden, I burst into tears right there at their kitchen table. Even though I love these people, I had never showed that much emotion or cried in front of them. You’d think I would be embarrassed by my own show of feelings, but I felt instantly relieved as I was honest and let my opinions come into the light. In fact, these people who I love but had hidden myself from really comforted me and ministered to my spirit. I am confident that my relationship with them changed and became a little deeper that evening because of that intimate experience. I became vulnerable by putting my feelings into the light, but they embraced my honesty.

I also recently moved to a different workspace at my office. The overhead light in the new room was broken because the area has been vacant for some time. The first morning I moved there, I tried to work using just a desk lamp and the light from my laptop, but I became frustrated in the darkness and found myself squinting. I stopped what I was doing and set out on a mission to find available lamps in other parts of the office. A co-worker gave me a great floor lamp that has made a huge difference: it floods my office with soft light, making things not only more visible, but also making the small space look more inviting and appealing.

Each of these experiences reminded me that of the way light is referred to in the Bible. It is always synonymous with good. Over and over again in the Bible, secrecy, evil and dishonesty are compared to darkness, and truth and goodness are compared to light. God is compared to light in 2 Samuel 22:29: “You are my lamp, O Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light;” the Bible is compared to light in Psalm 119:105: “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path;” and Christ followers are considered light in Matthew 5:14: "You are the light of the world.”

The fear I experienced while being alone in the darkness proved that when we are isolated or alone in darkness (darkness meaning sin, a difficult time or a painful situation), we are vulnerable to temptation, and Satan loves that. He loves to mess with our minds, making us fearful and exaggerating any potentially sad or fearful circumstances we are encountering until we are miserable or panicked. The second we find ourselves in a dark place, God wants us to flood that place with LIGHT by hiding ourselves in Him. With Him, we can escape the darkness by either 1) repenting of sin or 2) we can let Him heal our wounds with His Word or by providing comfort through loved ones to be with us in our difficulties. God loves being the hero, and He’s great at it. He is totally capable of flooding us with light again if we choose to let Him.

The experience at the kitchen table taught me that darkness only brings suffering and division, but light brings amazing freedom and restoration. I was extremely uncomfortable hearing everyone else talk about one opinion while differing thoughts brewed in my mind. However, the second I let my guard down and really shared how I felt, I left the darkness and entered light because I was met with love through instant comfort, hugs, compassion and understanding. God hates when we allow ourselves to sit alone in darkness. Light was waiting for me once I chose to be myself, even though it required me to be humble, vulnerable and unafraid to look weak. He even went a step further and used that experience to strengthen those relationships with my family members.

My lack of light in the office showed me that trying to function without God and His blessings of peace, goodness and joy is nearly impossible and leads only to frustration. We need to take whatever steps are necessary, even if it is not convenient and requires us to put other priorities aside, to have His light flood our lives. I did not want to put down my work that morning to go lamp hunting, but my search was so worth it! I now have a room that is peaceful and soothing, not frustrating, to me. We may not want to ask someone for forgiveness, be transparent with someone or break a certain habit, but choosing to make those decisions to re-enter the light is so invaluable.

Sometimes we find ourselves in darkness due to circumstances we did not choose. I did not choose to be home alone while John was gone, just as we sometimes find ourselves in dark places because of someone’s death or difficult situations outside of our control like divorce or job loss. Other times, we deliberately choose to enter darkness by sinning or causing brokenness in our relationships with others. Regardless of if our darkness is self-inflicted or not, God wants to help us step forward into the light. He hates darkness, and loves light. He is glorified in light, and we are called to worship Him in spirit and in truth (light).

Genesis 1:4: God saw that the light was good, and He separated the light from the darkness.
2 Samuel 22:29: You are my lamp, O LORD; the LORD turns my darkness into light.
Psalm 18:28: You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.
Psalm 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?
Psalm 43:3: Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell.