Tiredness is a funny thing.
Sometimes, it is completely physical - if you don't sleep long enough or if you engage in vigorous physical activity, you feel sleepy and worn out.
On the other hand, if you are maxing out your mental energy, you feel tired. If you are spending tons of time worrying about something or trying to make something happen on your own, exhaustion sets in quickly and energy is zapped. That kind of exhaustion is tricky because sometimes you aren't even aware that you've been striving or that you're tired. Suddenly, in the midst of your efforts to do whatever it is you're trying to accomplish, you demonstrate effects of exhaustion: you become irritable, physically tense, and you lose your ability to think rationally. That place is an EASY place for us to behave badly...
Tiredness has become a good spiritual checkpoint for me. When I realize that I'm sleepy, irritable, physically tense, or frustrated, I ask myself why. Sometimes I am genuinely sleep deprived, but more often, I am exhausted from trying to do things on my own. I realize that I've been relying on a faulty source for energy and endurance: myself.
Usually when I am experiencing that kind of tiredness, I realize that my intentions for accomplishing whatever I was trying to accomplish are selfish or shallow. Not good.
Once I finally realize that I've been selfishly striving to (usually) meet my own agenda without allowing the Holy Spirit to lead me, I stop, take a deep breath (literally), and re-evaluate. Sometimes it helps to change environments too, or take a break from the task at hand. Then, I (should) pray and ask God to forgive me for my striving, clarify my focus and help me prioritize. Surrendering my own agenda and asking God to clear my mind is often the turning point when the tiredness begins to diminish. That moment is also a pivotal time to listen, quiet internal dialogue and wait on the Holy Spirit for next steps.
I am not saying I do all of these things already - but I would like to get to a place where I avoid the spiral of striving into exhaustion less frequently. Alternatively, I'd like to experience more of those times when I know I should feel exhausted from sleep deprivation, but I'm totally invigorated because I've spent so much time in the Word and am in step with the Holy Spirit.
I was tired today, which is why I wrote this. Praying that I (and you, too), have fewer days like today and constantly abide in the vine that is Jesus.
Sometimes, it is completely physical - if you don't sleep long enough or if you engage in vigorous physical activity, you feel sleepy and worn out.
On the other hand, if you are maxing out your mental energy, you feel tired. If you are spending tons of time worrying about something or trying to make something happen on your own, exhaustion sets in quickly and energy is zapped. That kind of exhaustion is tricky because sometimes you aren't even aware that you've been striving or that you're tired. Suddenly, in the midst of your efforts to do whatever it is you're trying to accomplish, you demonstrate effects of exhaustion: you become irritable, physically tense, and you lose your ability to think rationally. That place is an EASY place for us to behave badly...
Tiredness has become a good spiritual checkpoint for me. When I realize that I'm sleepy, irritable, physically tense, or frustrated, I ask myself why. Sometimes I am genuinely sleep deprived, but more often, I am exhausted from trying to do things on my own. I realize that I've been relying on a faulty source for energy and endurance: myself.
Usually when I am experiencing that kind of tiredness, I realize that my intentions for accomplishing whatever I was trying to accomplish are selfish or shallow. Not good.
Once I finally realize that I've been selfishly striving to (usually) meet my own agenda without allowing the Holy Spirit to lead me, I stop, take a deep breath (literally), and re-evaluate. Sometimes it helps to change environments too, or take a break from the task at hand. Then, I (should) pray and ask God to forgive me for my striving, clarify my focus and help me prioritize. Surrendering my own agenda and asking God to clear my mind is often the turning point when the tiredness begins to diminish. That moment is also a pivotal time to listen, quiet internal dialogue and wait on the Holy Spirit for next steps.
I am not saying I do all of these things already - but I would like to get to a place where I avoid the spiral of striving into exhaustion less frequently. Alternatively, I'd like to experience more of those times when I know I should feel exhausted from sleep deprivation, but I'm totally invigorated because I've spent so much time in the Word and am in step with the Holy Spirit.
I was tired today, which is why I wrote this. Praying that I (and you, too), have fewer days like today and constantly abide in the vine that is Jesus.
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