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Reflections on an (almost) fall evening


My husband is working tonight, and I'm pleasantly surprised by the high level of coziness in my house. I'm pretty excited to experience fall and winter in our home, since we've only lived here in warm weather thus far. Right now I'm sitting cross-legged in a recliner in the living room with only lamps and a pumpkin candle providing a dim, peaceful glow. AJ is purring loudly at my feet. I also broke out the sweatpants for the first time this season (YES! Gotta love comfy pants.). Overall, it just feels very good and relaxing in here.

I say that I am surprised because I typically don't love the way it feels here with John gone at night. In fact, I often avoid being here alone, especially in the evenings. I typically plan dates with girlfriends or have dinner with my parents and then come home just in time to slide into bed. Or, I have friends over on those nights and don't kick them out until I need to sleep. It sounds kind of pathetic that I'm a married woman and yet don't enjoy being alone in the dark, but for the record, I don't love being alone in the light either. I genuinely just enjoy being with people more than being without people.

As much as I don't like John's schedule, it is what it is, and God has given us incredible grace with it. Though he agrees that his hours are not ideal, John absolutely loves what he does while he is at work. AND, he's off every other weekend. On weekends when he works, we still have a few hours together in the afternoons after he wakes up and before he has to get in car to drive to work. John has also been blessed with multiple opportunities to take professional development classes, during which he works normal business hours (amazing!). It could be so much worse.

Every time I'm tempted to dwell on the negative side of being married to someone who works an opposite shift, I think about military families. My grandmother spent three years of her life apart from my grandfather, who was stationed overseas. It only takes about 5 seconds of thinking about that to make me snap out of it and realized how fortunate I am to see John for at least 10 minutes each day, bare minimum.

Sitting here in my cozy living room, husband home or no husband home, I know am blessed. I just have to choose to put my thoughts in that direction and not dwell on the less-than-ideal realities I could allow to drain me.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." - Philippians 4:8

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