Reflections and Responses

I was thinking this morning about plants. I've never been successful at sustaining plants, and the reason why is pretty embarrassing. I rarely read the directions. In fact, sometimes I rip off the little piece of cardboard with the directions on it because it interferes with the aesthetic of the plant. This realization became an instant parallel with how I live. Too often I treat God's Word like I treat the instructions for plants, naively coasting through without reminding myself of what I can do in order to thrive. Like the plant distributors, my Father has provided everything I need (wisdom, encouragement, comfort, hope) in writing for me to dwell on as often as possible. What a generous gift. Yet, I tend to act as if these words are optional. The parallels continue. Like taking care of plants, we have to be proactive in nurturing our souls. If we wait to water or relocate a plant until there are signs of decay, there's a good chance that some permanent damage has...

1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to give thanks in everything. I've been struck by this verse recently, and I've been unpacking every word. "In" The Word says to give thanks "IN" it...not once we're on the other side of a messy situation and can see God's sweet purposes in it. In the moments when we are feeling hurt, anxious, confused or impatient... give thanks to God during these moments. The result of this is that we invite His calming presence into our minds. Choosing to connect with Him in the tough moments is the very best thing we can do, because He can provide help, wisdom, comfort, empathy, or whatever we need in that moment. Ephesians 3:20 reminds us that He can do "exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think." Applied here, that means we should never underestimate what He can do when we choose maintain a pliable, grateful heart no matter what is swirling around us. "Everything" Anyone can feel content and gra...

While I was doodling with Olivia last night, I had a thought. The voice in my head tells me: "Jesus loves me when I am _____." (Fill in the blank with lofty adjectives and idealistic descriptors like "perfect," "a selfless wife," "in Olympic shape.") But His voice gently corrects me and says: "Jesus loves me when I am." There's a period there, not a colon or a blank space. He loves me simply because I exist. He's loved me since the moment I was an idea in His head. That means He has loved me before I even had the opportunity to achieve, attain or perform. He loves me simply because I am . We spend so much energy trying to earn love and approval and be worthy of it.... but the One whose opinion matters most labeled us as "loved" before we took our first breaths. We can take off the pressure, the facades, the pull-ourselves-up-by-our-bootstraps mentality.... we're loved. Amen? Amen. P.S. I really love t...

Dear Hardworking Husband, Thank you for the sacrifices you make. Thank you for working many more than 40 hours each week so that I can be home and be present with our daughter.  Thanks for taking sandwiches for lunch instead of going out with the guys, rarely buying new dress clothes, and not indulging your desire for Dunkin coffee. Thanks for partnering with me. You have every right to sprawl out on the couch when you get home, but you often choose to play, work in the yard, fix something or all of the above. Thanks for not only being a hands-on dad and an employee, but also a plumber, electrician, lawn care expert, car mechanic, and so much more. Thank you for being patient with me. Thanks for letting me vent and complain, even when it's about you! Thanks for giving me breaks when you sense I need them. Thanks for acknowledging the seriousness of my job and never making me feel "less than." Thanks for actively listening to me share the details of our day, wh...

I wanted to share some thrilling news with you: Olivia does not need surgery after all!!!!!! To make a very long story short, today we learned that some of her initial measurements were handled incorrectly, so her heart is not nearly as enlarged as it seemed! The hole is not putting the amount of distress on her heart as it looked like originally when the team used the faulty numbers. She may need to have the hole closed o ne day, but for now, she's looking great! Obviously this misstep, along with several slips the cardiologists made throughout the past few weeks, are being taken very seriously by those in leadership at the heart center. They understand that much trauma resulted for us from this error. This is such astonishing news - we had asked God to avoid surgery if there was ANY way we could do safely, and look at what He did! I may write more later once I collect Thank you again for all of your love and concern - we have an incredible village ...

It's been a week now since our not-so-routine cardiology appointment. Loved ones have been asking me how I'm doing and what I need. I've answered this question differently each time I have been asked! Honestly, I've gone through quite the spectrum of emotions, much to my husband's delight. :-) Ha, I kid. He is wonderful and patient, but he just processes things differently than I do. This is one of the (several) lessons that God has ALREADY taught me in the past seven days. He made John's brain unique from mine, and that was on purpose ! We contemplate, analyze, dwell and respond differently to every situation we encounter, and this is no exception. Just because we are not feeling or expressing exactly what our spouse is experiencing doesn't mean that we cannot hear him or her out and validate the expression. In fact, we should seek ways to draw those emotions and reflections out of our partner and really listen, not trying to rush through, explain away, ...

We expected a routine appointment. Last April, the cardiology team told us that we did not have to return for another check-up on the hole in Olivia's heart for a full year. This was music to a mom's and dad's ears! Since her pediatrician had noticed the severe murmur in her heartbeat when she was just four days old, we'd visited the cardiologist office several times to monitor any changes in heart function. So far, it seemed that this hole was not causing any problems, and the doctors said that it might even close on its own. The ultrasounds of Olivia's heart today revealed a different story, unfortunately. The left side of her heart has enlarged slightly over the last year, which tells us that this precious organ is under a bit of stress due to the turbulence of the extra blood flowing in and out of the hole. The first cardiologist who reviewed the ultrasounds with us today told us what we really did not want to hear: Olivia is heading down the path that req...

Today I had my annual check-up at my ob-gyn. DON'T WORRY and KEEP READING - this is not a post with details about what happens once you leave the waiting room! I was in the waiting room for about 40 minutes. Looking around, I was astounded by the range of emotions I saw on display by the other patients. Two obviously pregnant women sat to my right, each looking content and pleasant as they rested their hands on their round bellies, calmly flipping through pregnancy magazines and scrolling on their phones. Across the room was a college-aged girl who was whispering nervously to her mom. Must be a first timer, I figured. A couple sat in the corner. The woman looked excited and the man fidgeted, looking like he'd rather be cleaning toilets than sitting in that room. I wondered about the story behind those two. A very, very pregnant mom waddled in holding her toddler's hand. Instantly I felt tired on her behalf. Directly across from me was another couple. Their faces...

This morning I had one of those rare (but always welcomed) moments of hearing from God almost audibly. I heard: "God wastes nothing." I ruminated on that for a while and decided that if it is true, it also means that God redeems everything .  There is no loss, sin, hurt, disappointment, mistake, relationship, degree, or pursuit that He cannot use for Kingdom purposes - to draw His children closer to Him and bring glory to Himself. It's important for us to realize that He does not want everything to happen the way it does on Earth, but that doesn't mean that He cannot somehow use all of it. No ugliness down here is too far gone. My friend Lanise, who I respect very much, works in pediatric hospice care. Another friend's husband is a pediatric oncologist. The fact that these two occupations even exist makes me want to cry, and while I cannot read the mind of God, I imagine that it saddens Him as well. He doesn't desire for any of His children to dev...

Some days are just harder than others. Even if circumstantially, things are great, some days are just tough. Maybe you're sleep deprived, grieving something in the past, anxious about something in the future, or questioning something. This has always been true - read the Psalms! The book records serious lamenting, mourning and crying out to God. Hard days are nothing new. It's okay. We all have bad days. As Louie Giglio says, "worship displaces worry." Get in a quiet place, still your mind, and ask God to give you a worship mindset and remind you of his constant, eternal faithfulness. Park your mind there. Ask Him to help you stay there all day. He'll do it. xoxo.

A dear friend of mine lamented to me recently about her structured personality and how she wishes she could loosen up sometimes. This was a struggle I knew all too well, but I was reminded of a seemingly obvious but often forgotten truth: God made us that way.  God gave us our personalities. He created them. He decided if we would be talkative or reserved, a realist or a dreamer, a planner or a free spirit, and a million other preferences and tendencies. Like my friend. I spend a great deal of energy trying to change, circumvent or complain about certain aspects of "me." The enemy wants us discouraged. He wants to make the self critic scream louder than the voice of Truth. The truth is that God made and formed me (and you!), and all that He has made is good . We should conserve all of the energy we spend fighting our least favorite traits and use this energy to ask Him how we can channel them for His glory instead. We're wired intentionally, for a purpose greate...